Maybe in time, you'll change your mind

Exams officially started today. I studied for geography but I still couldn't do the paper. Whatever. After exams, trained to Orchard with Jiawei and Sherman. One of the conversation we had was..

Jiawei: I don't like going out with you two leh. Keep on laugh laugh laugh.

Regina: I also don't like come out with you two.
Sherman: Ya lor ya lor. I also.

Went to FEP to SLICE and have our ice cream but not ice cream, ice cream-.- Lol. Walked around FEP after that. Jiawei went home first. Sherman and I went to Heeren, Wisma and Taka. Went to take train around 5.30pm. We took bounce back.

In the train, when we just board. There was this couple, very intimating. They alight the next station. And I wanted to sit down. So they left and I wanted to sit their place lah. But the girl left her ezlink on the chair. So being nice people, we took the ezlink and go after her-.- So we waited for another train. Which wasted our time and we regretted returning the ezlink to her because she was very rude. So the train that we board next terminates at Yishun-.- We alighted at Khatib. The next train that came was full. Waited for another one instead. So when we board the train, I was already laughing my ass off. Laughing at the usual things of course. The woman beside me was being paranoid-.- And maybe she thinks I'm crazy or whatsoever. Sherman alighted at Sembawang and I still felt like laughing out real loud. But got to control lah. Hahaha. So when I reach Woodlands, I was already fine lah. Lol.

Walked home and was very tired. So I was dragging my feet-.- Reached home bathed and had dinner. And I realised that I hadn't take my medicine for the whole day!! Omgzxz. Got to take them later. Anyway, I had fun today! Let's go there again someday for the ice cream but not ice cream, ice cream. LOL!

You don't have to show me how well you're now. Because I'm gona get over you! (:

"Instead of holding you, I was holding out. I should have let you in but I let you down."

Hi! I didn't go school today because I've not yet recover. Spent the whole day sleeping beacuse the medicine made me drowsy. So I kept dozing off. I'm going to finish my medicine soon. But I'm not getting any better. I'm better off dead -.- I'm going to school tomorrow. Because Miss Jia threaten to call my dad-.- Haha. But not threaten lah. She was just concern, I suppose.

I wanna eat this ice cream alot! I'm gona have it this Thursday! Yippee! Something to be happy for. Hahaha. I've been saying I wanna eat this ever since I was sick. I hope by Thursday I'll be well to eat all the good food! :B

Okay, I'm off to do my FNN evaluation. I feel so sleepy now.
Good-a-bye!

And I'm better off without you, i'm better off without you.
More than you, more than you know.

Ditched

Damn it. I can see that you had fun together that day. Why am I typing all these shit-.- Bloody hell. Urgh! I'm so jealous. SO WHAT! -.-WTH. I really regret already. Now then I know why.

School tomorrow. I'm still bloody sick. ME HATE SCHOOL ALOT. I think I'll see alot of things I don't wanna see tomorrow. Homeworks not done cause I've left them in school and forget to bring them home. !#$%^&* I know I wouldn't do them even if I did bring home. But who cares right. Chemistry tomorrow = CAN DIE.

So I went to the wedding today right. I'll only update when I get pictures lah. Maybe tomorrow or the day after or the day day after. Whatever-.- CRAP.

Okay, I hope tonight when I sleep, I'll never ever wake up. So I don't have to attend school and live in this very complicated world.

Goodbye Bitch!
Oh, & I hope biatch get well soon! (:

A thousand oceans wide

The stars will guide you home

I dread going to take bursary. I wanna go tuition instead. But I can't choose. Will update from here when I get back. SUCKZXZXZXZXZZX. I HATE YOU!

---Edited.

Hi! I'm back. So I went to meet Mrs Tay at cwp. She brought me to "Dian Xiao Er" to have lunch there. She ordered too much food and we can't finish. Hahaha. Total bill was close to $50. Went to take bus to school. Went for the Bursary thing. Went on stage, collect certificates and soon after was dismissed. Went back to school and went home after that. Here I am blogging!

Tomorrow need to wake up very early. Cause my uncle is getting married. Can't decide what to wear man.

I want to go Far East and have ice cream! :D
Any kind souls? :/

" You can be my someone, you can be my
sin."

So I went to see the doctor yesterday night. Doctor told me I've got gastric problems. That explains why I will have stomache or cramps frequently. And I have to stay away from oily, spicy food and stuffs. Especially sour food. I'm not even allowed to eat fruits. Except for apples. I have to eat my meals regularly also. I'm feeling very.. awful. Because I cannot eat so many things! ): Hope I get well soon.

Oh. yesterday was also execution day for fnn. I was having a terrible stomache the whole day. I still tried to complete my execution though.

Just now went out to have dinner with my mum and dad, sisters and bro-in-law. Surprising right. Yeah, I thought I should be happy about it. But I'm not. SIGH! Sometimes I really don't understand what my parents are thinking. First they say this and then the next minute, 360degree change. I guess face is still more important than anything else right. Though we had dinner together, that wasn't the main point. Main point was to show how well she can live without dad. What is she thinking? Face. Oh, and I hate that woman with blue eyeliner drawn under her eye-.- Which is my mother's friend. She think what? Trend ah! Tmd. Go look in mirror lah. Fucking disgusting. Anyway, the dinner was not a very enjoyable one.

Okay, I'm fully packed for weekends! I've got to collect bursary award tomorrow. I'll have to miss tuition because of it ): I want go tuition leh! But the time clashes. I've got to go to my Grandma house on Sunday because my uncle is getting married.

MYE are around the the corner. I've got no confidence in it. Maths, combined humanities, combined science are my weakest subjects. Doubt I'll pass them anyway. Just can't make myself to sit down and study hard. I need motivation please!!

Wicked heart. Anyway, !#$%^&. I think I hate you. LOL-.-

I need somebody

I'm very very sick now. Going to the see a doctor soon. Update tomorrow perhaps. Most probably missing school.

Tell me you can take this pain away

Sup! Went to meet Amanda just now. Had Yoshinoya for lunch. I swear the service suck. The person who serve us our food was very rude. She just threw the plate on the table-.- And fact is, I've wrote a feedback about her the other time I went. Sucky.

Anyway, I came home. And made my 3rd dish for execution. Mixed tempura! The taste wasn't bad. Just that it's a little bland.

I hope everything goes well tomorrow! I'm a lil nervous. :/ Wish me luck! =D

Oh! And I forgot to mention in the previous post. I saw two da bian outside school today. At school busstop. YUCKSSSSSSSSSSSS!!! Er xin da bian! _l_

School is so boring. I'm like talking to myself lor-.- Today suck so much. I sit alone and talk to myself. Sucky day. SCHOOL SUCKS BIG TIME!

I officially hate school

Today is a very long day. Jiawei didn't come. Worst part was, Sherman was sent home. ZZZ! Well, yeah. Nobody talk to me also. Lessons were boring as usual. Spent my recess with Huiting and Amanda. And back to class. Sat alone during Geography. I officially hate going to school. It sucks to the max.
I hate it when people don't reply messages or reply very slow. SUCKS.

I'm off to meet Amanda to have lunch and buy stuffs. Update again later.

BYE BITCH! :]

Feel the sorrow. Feel the pain.

Went to Sheng Siong with Amanda and Rina. Had a hard time looking for ingredients. But we still did it though. Went home aorund 6pm. And I started cooking the moment I reach home. No choice, Thursday execution lah. Got to practice! I only made 2 dishes today. Vegetable tuna pasta and ABC Corn soup.

Eh.. I think both also taste very nice! (: Below got picture. But hor, camera not good lah. Thus, it looks not so appetising. Okay, I'm really nervous for Thursday man!

Okay, I'm off to TRY to complete my homework! I try ah. But i just realised I forgot to bring half of it home. I left it under the desk. Oh man!!!! Not I don't want to do ah. Is I left it in school. I'll try to complete the other half though! I can't skip school tmr! Cause need to do FNN stuffs. Man, I need a break. SERIOUSLY!

Storm

When I was about to leave house this morning, it was drizzling outside. I decided not to bring an umbrella cause it's only drizzling. But when I open the door, suddenly.. "BOOOOM!!" The thunder strikes and the rain got bigger! In a very fast speed-.- So i went back to the house to grab an umbrella. And so, I left house. When I reach downstairs, i walked the shelter. The wind was so big that even walking under the shelter wouldn't help. Cause the rain is coming in all directions-.- When there is no more shelter for me to walk, I open my umbrella and started to walk. I was fighting my way through the rain. Cause it's really big and the rain came in all directions that made me can't see where the hell I'm walking-.- Finally, after 15mins of walk, I reached mrt station. I took extra 7mins to walk to the mrt station. I was very wet, my skirt was all wet. Like I never bring umbrella. No difference between got use or never use. My shoes were flooded with water which made me feel like going home to bathe and sleep.

Met Amanda, she was a lil wet. Cause she left house earlier than me. I wonder if that was a good thing or a bad thing. It's a good thing becausse she's not very wet. A bad thing because if she left the house later, she could have brought an umbrella along. And she ran the moment the rain became bigger. So I was telling her how much I didn't want to go school in this state. But in the end, decided to go. Because I spend so much effort to make my way to the mrt station. So we went to take train.

When we reach Sembawang, the rain was already smaller. Just drizzling. So we walked to school la. Like strolling likethat. When we reached school, is damn tired already. So worn out by the rain. Lessons as usual. I've got many homeoworks today! I don't know if I'm going to get them done. I want to but I take a long time to complete homeworks. Need to think and find notes.

I'm going to bathe now. And meet Rina and Peiyun to go Woodlands centre. To buy ingredients for execution day and I'm going to try out the dishes I'm suppose to cook today.

Sorry for this wordy post. But congragulations! You've made it till the end. Hahaha.

BITCH! :D

Not even a word

I don't know what I did. I don't know what's going wrong. Was it something I said or was it something I never did? I'm really upset to see things turning out this way. But I still don't know what the hell is wrong!

What are friends for?
I thought they were suppose to stand by you.
Even when no one believes you.
If that's the case, I've got no friends.
I really don't know what is going on.
Why the sudden distance between us.
If it was because of me, I'm sorry.

"I tried to laugh it off but I made things worse"

I shouldn't have. I know I really shouldn't have. I'm losing my mind. This can't be true. I must be crazy to feel this way. Please don't let this be true. Tell me it's not.

Sentosa with my sisters!

Set off from home around 10am. Reached Vivo about 11am. Went to Giant to grab some snacks and drinks.

This one my Erjie! (:

This is my Dajie! (:

When we reach Sentosa. Saw this Fish call Oscar. My erjie's bunny teeth look likes Oscar's. Lol.Changed clothes and went to Siloso Beach! Lay the mat. Eat snacks, talk, suntan. It's been so long since we've last went out together man!!

I think I look so tired already!-.-

Went to bathe and change around 1plus. Went to Vivo and ate Kfc for lunch. And we go walk walk. Went home around 4plus.

HAHAHA. Scroll down to see the very scary picture! (:

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Okay, I know it's very lame. But I have cool siblings! I enjoy myself today!

Tuition tomorrow! YAY! I'm gona learn new things. But I've yet completed the homeworks-.-

And it means nothing at all

The results for our SYF is out. We've got a bronze. I'm sure everyone is feeling down. Well, I feel utterly disappointed and I think maybe we deserve better. We've practice the dance for almost 6 months. As for me.. I think only 4 months.

Our hardwork..
Our sweat..
Our achings the next day..
And many other things..
All we get was a bloody bronze.

We sure deserve something better man. Seriously. Anyway, lets not think too much about it. Because it's surely gona spoil our mood. We've got to get over it. Try harder next time.

Went to Rina's house today! To bake my muffins. Lol. The outcome was still okok la. Edible of course. Rina's Apple Crumble Cake not bad also. Went to Sp's hardcourt after that. Sat there with Rina and chit chat. Went to eat Kfc and went home around 9.30pm.

It's too late to regret.
Face it man.

E learning sucks!

I tried logging in to the bloody website for almost an hour. Until I finally logged in, I went to search for my assignments. Must download file for maths. I downloaded it and I can't fucking open it. Because this laptop doesn't have Microsoft word. I tried converting the format and stuffs for almost another hour. A nd I still can't get it open fully now! _l_ I swear this is so fucking frustrating. Can you imagine? I sat here for fucking 2 hours and did none of the assignments. FUCK OFF SERIOUSLY. This is making me so pek cek. Anyway, thanks Fadli for helping. I appreciate it alot.

I guess I'll just get scoldings and more scoldings tomorrow. E Learining sucks! Seriously fuck that person who wanted us to do E learning. URGHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

FUCK OFF!!!! _l_

Connection

We're now awaiting for our Syf's results which is coming out today! I'm nervous. Shall not elaborate much. As I'm sure it can be found in other blogs. Here are some pictures taken on that day.

Photo credits: Huiting

Butterflies in my stomach

Sup! Syf tomorrow! It's like soooooo fast! Can't believe it's just tomorrow. I still think we're not up to mark yet. I hope we'll be able to do the last lift tomorrow. God bless us all! I'm very nervous. I think I wouldn't be able to sleep tonight :/ and I must control myself. I can't eat anymore man. Though I really feel like eating alot alot of things right now. But I can't! ): If not I'll be unable to fit in my costume tomorrow. Got to control! ):

Last but no least,
Dancers, all the best man! Be more confident! We must have 200% energy. No matter what the outcome is, we know we've tried our very best! (:
GAMBATE!

What the hell is wrong with you

Weekends are always so boring. Mundane life I've been leading. Sick and tired of doing the same old things. School tomorrow! Seriously turns me off-.-

One more practice to SYF.

I question myself, why we're so different from him. Is he more important than us? If he meant the world to you, what are we? Sometimes I can't help but to hate you for all these. You treated us as though we're transparent. You can have fun in the room. Laugh so fucking loud, like nobody can hear. Don't you even care how we feel? No, I guess you didn't. Oh man, this sucks to the maxxxxxxx.

You acted as though we never knew each other

I woke up on time today! Met Amanda and trained to Sembawang. Met Sherman at Minimart and went to school for dance. Went up to the hall for practice today. Did warm ups and change into costumes. We mark through which took us very long. And we ended with 2 full rehersal. The second one, Halfway through, badminton people came up to hall. I guess it scare the shit out of some of us. Can see almost all also very nervous. Lol.

Went to change out of the very stuffy costume. Waited with Amanda for Sherman. But we left halfway, cause both of us were starving like we can eat a dinosaur-.- Bused to Sp, had our breakfast cum lunch at Foodcourt. Finally we can eat lor!! After that went to Hardcourt with Rina, Yokeqing, Peiyun and Amanda. They played frisbee under the super hot Sun. While me and Rina sit under the shade and listen to songs and chat. Finally they can't stand the sun, we went to mac. They eat ice cream and stuffs. It started to get windy and it rained!!! Like so good right! No lor, not good. I went home and I waited at Cwp for the rain to be smaller. But I waited for around 30mins. And I gave up-.- I just walk home. Lol.

Reached home, bathed and straight away sleep till 7.30pm. Tonight suppose to ton at my house to catch thief one. Lol. But cancelled-.- Cause too tired. Lol.

That's all! Today I'm feeling not good!! ):

All Fall Down

If you've noticed, I've changed my blogsong and blogskin. I'm so not feeling well right now! My stomach hurts alot. And I think I have slight fever. I hope I'm not sick! Syf coming! I can't afford to be sick man!! There's dance tomorrow. Got to wake up early!

Anyway, all I did today was use laptop, eat, sms, play game and watch tv. Super bored! I think I'm going offline soon. Perhaps watching the horror show at Channel U later. See if got people acc me watch first anot. HAHAHA. Seem to be quite scary-.- A story of twins again. Just like unborn. Lol. Oh yah, I've read finish all my books already!! No moe books for me to read. Got to save money to get more books.

& I wonder when is Belley gonna meet me huh!! ):

Today's Good Friday! Happy Good Friday, everyone? Goodnight! [:

Horror Films!

I know the picture is really small. Who cares man! Yipeeeee! New horror shows coming up! Got to watch it! I bet Sherman is getting excited over it (: Hohoho! But I don't know when it's gona be screened ):

Long Journey

Hohoho! Today I missed school. Okay I know.. AGAIN! -.- Mrs tay is angry with me for missing school ):

Anyway, I met Sherman around 4pm and we trained to Bugis to collect his costume for SYF. Went for lunch cum dinner after that at bugis street. Was suppose to watch movie. But no more Coming Soon! So didn't watch as he didn't want to catch non-horror shows-.-

Walked around at Bugis Junction. Can't decide where to go. In the end, we went to Tampiness Mall. When we reached Tampiness, we walked in to the new shopping mall. Was flooded with people. Nearly fainted-.- So we make our way out and headed to Tampiness mall. Walk around and went to arcade-.- Hahaha. Sherman wanted to play DDR. I've got no choice but to join him lah-.- Hahaha. After that, walk around and went to take train back. Trained to Jurong East and change train. Actually wanted to go to West Mall. But decided not to in the end. Decided to go woodlands Starbucks. Called Brandon but he didnt wanna come out so early. So we just went home.

We can laugh at the most stupid things. Even those not funny ones-.- HAHAHA.

This paragraph is for dear Rina!
Cheer up lah. Tomorrow I acc you go see Hyra okay? (: We go buy some dog stuffs for him (: Dogs are faithful creatures. She will remember you one! =D Kai xin yi dian! See ya tmr! Love ya lotsssssssssss! [:

We've been talking recently.
Is this a hint to ask me not to give up?
Maybe I'm reading too much into it.

A part of me is searching

I've skipped ASP today. Went home straight after school. Bathed and slept all the way till 7pm. Woke up and had my dinner. I think I'm going back to sleep soon! -.- Okay, I know I can really sleep. But really tired mah!

Yay! Friday is good friday! Which means no school! I can have a break. Probably wanna find someone to go Jurong to swim. Lol. Anyone interested?

Anyway, I have so many movies that I wanna watch!! Okay, my eyes are slowly closing already. I'm gona shutdown and go to bed. I know it's very early. It's only 7.50pm now. Who cares!

Goodnight! :]

No, I'm not fine

Advice: Don't read if you don't have any patience.

First of all, I missed school today. But I went for dance. After dance went to Minimart. Recieved a call and several messages which made me feel very upset. Worst thing is when we board the bus. 2 Naval base Sec boys were talking so loudly as though they are both seated far away. But in fact they are just beside each other. It's either the one that's listening is deaf or the one speaking is deaf. Cause he can't hear how loud he is. Thus, this made me feel more upset and pek chek.

I feel so reluctant to go home. When I was walking home, I was deep in my thoughts. I fear something would happen. I was feeling uneasy in my stomach or rather.. my heart was feeling uneasy.

Have you ever thought of how I would feel whenever you say you wanna die? You know how worried I am? No you don't. You're so selfish. You ask me not to worry about you. Tell me, how can I not be worried? You say all you can say is sorry. Sorry.. you think that helps? No, it doesn't. If you don't want me to get worried and stuffs, you shouldn't have told me. You shouldn't even give birth to me. You're not the only one thats tired. I am too. You tell me I will still have my father even without you. No, you don't understand. What I want is both of you. Not one of you but both. Not any substitution.

All these suck too much.
I rather be in hell.

I'm tired. Why don't you help me end my sufferings?
Take a knife and stab me right in my heart.
Don't worry, I wouldn't blame you.
Mercy Killing.

You can't always keep what you get

Years back, we were still so happy. In a happy home. Everything was so perfect. In fact more than I could ever ask for. We would always go for dinner at AMK and would always go to Courts after our dinner. I still remember the way the two of you walk. Almost everytime hand in hand. All of us were so happy back then. And I'm very contented. Until..

Something terrible happen. And I know that I could never understand. Because that's what they always told me. But still, I still know a little. I'm the youngest in the family. Hence, nobody would ever bother to explain it to me. Cause they would think that I'm too young to understand all these shits.

Today, 7thApril2009 is your 24th Wedding Anniversary if everything is still alright. But it's not alright at all, not at all. But still, I would still wanna wish both of you a ...

I would still wait for that 0.01% of chances that both of you would reconcile. As long as both of you are still alive, there's still a chance. Even a teeny weeny one. I would give up all just to have this back.

So clear, silver moon

Don't get me wrong, I cannot wait for you to come home. For now you're not here and I'm not there, it's like we're on our own. To figure it out, consider how to find a place to stand. Instead of walking away and instead of nowhere to land. This is going to break me clean in two. This is going to bring me close to you.

Met Sherman under my block there. Went to Amanda's house. Did some stuffs and headed to Cwp. Went to walk around, went arcade. Decided to head home soon after. Near the entrance there talk talk. Sherman and Amanda were really funny. Because they kept doing the "cross eye/ cock eye" thingy. And wave goodbye. Like stupid. But it was super hilarious. Amanda looked very fresh with it-.- Sherman look dumb. Opps! Please don't kill me-.- HAHAHAHA.

I have really cool friends! (: & I love them!

Few more hours to Jaslin Jee's Birthday! Happy birthday! I hope you grow taller! (: With lotsa love!

Is this the way it ends?

Friends stand by you when you're in need. I'm glad I still have a few :]

Weekends passed so quickly. Weekends are gona be over soon. Which means school tmr! I've yet completed homeworks. Nah, I'm too lazy to do them. What a boring Sunday! I'm all alone at home. Please entertain me! I'm so bored.

Friendships breaking apart.
For a moment I thought I was transparent to you all.
Indeed I am. Recently, we're not as close as before.
Sad to say, I'm utterly disappointed.