PISSED.

I hate you. you. you. you & YOU.


I have to be selfish. I have to be cruel.
So that you wouldn't fall deeper.
I'm sorry. I'm feeling no better either.

I keep climbing, hoping things would change

Sup! Met Sherman around 9.15am, had breakfast at Kfc. And we trained to Yew Tee mrt station. As usual, we were the early ones. Haha. The bus only came at 11.35am? Or later. When we were told it's coming at 11am. Wth. So anyway, went to Kranji Camp. Saw Khairul yesterday! Lol. His fan was a saviour! It was damn hot. But a nice weather to go to Sentosa! Lol. The dance ended around 4pm.

Went home to bathe and changed. Met Sherman at Semb Mrt station. Waited for Christina(from ndp) and we trained to City Hall. Waited for Emy & co. Didn't know all their names. Hahaha. Sherman and I went to try Mini Rider 2. Lol. The experience was.. LOL.


Before we each went our own ways..

Trained to Clarke Quay with Sherman. Slack there. Watch people play the... Idk what's that called. Nevermind. Lol.

Went to take train, luckily we managed to board the last train! But the train ride was.. digusting and hilarious. As usual we would laugh alot. But there's this guy in his 20s, board the train and took off is bloody shoes. Which made the cabin stink like.. worst than puke, worst than shit. Beyond description. What's even worst? He started scratching his feet like nobody's business. And his feet is damn gross one lor. Like.. those put inside water for hours then.. like.. "bloated?" *pukes* Imagine all the germs and bacteria. ZOMG. And he keep staring at a China woman and smile to himself-.- Wth! Finally, Sherman can't stand the smell and we went to the next cabin. We kept laughing in the next cabin. At some.. (Jiawei you should know what we always laugh at.) thing. HAHAHA. Reached home bout 1am or abit earlier.

Anyway, O level Chinese tomorrow. ZOMG. Remind me to bring my confirmation slip and passport.

I miss my pink hair alot! ):

Goodbye!

With a headache of a size of a car

Watching "Maiden's Vow" while blogging. Got back my report slip. Well, expected results.. Fail the usual few. Not gona elaborate on it. Like everyone's going to. I wouldn't show such... !#$%^&* results. Disgracing I would say. Whatever. Be contented with what you have. I'm not upset with my results. Because the amount of effort I put in.. is what I get. So.. what for get upset over it?

Stop showing off lah! Bitch.

Anyway, went for Ndp rehearsal today. Had Ljs after that. Can't decide where to go after that. So went home in the end. Rehearsal tomorrow again. I get to have some entertainment :B

I'm like a movie without an ending
You know I've got nowhere to go
And it makes me wanna throw up
To see you wanna give up
More than you'll ever know

P/s : Stop acting like you really mean what you say when you don't. It really piss me off. Seriously.

Goodnight!

My lips are raw as hell

Forced myself to wake up for school today. School was boring. Skipped Chinese asp and came home. O level chinese on Monday. Not sure what grade I should aim. School tomorrow, last day of school not. Hahaha.

Boring.

I'm in love with Cigarette lighter love song :B

Edited/

My eldest sister and my bro-in-law are back from Bali! Weeeehooo! Wonder what they've got for me :P Hiak Hiak. I miss my sister alot :]

You make it easier when life gets hard

Sup! I miss school today. There goes my aim for the week. Flushed down the toilet bowl. Last week of school this week and its the holidays! Which means getting more and more busy. First two weeks is already gona be H- E- L- L. Suddenly got the feeling of.. I don't wanna go ITE, I wanna go poly mindset-.- But how am I gona do it? -.-

Anyway, swine flu has hit Singapore! I hope school closes asap. Hahaha. Well, it's for the sake of everyone right?

I wanna hit the beach and get tanned, seriously-.-
School tomorrow, got to attend it no matter what.


I hate my small and ugly eyes.

Even the wrong words seem to rhyme

Sup! The weather has been very hot in the mornings. I always left home after I had my bath. But whenever I'm in the midst of going to school, I'm already perspiring like I've just run my 2.4 -.-

Lessons were boring. Skipped chinese asp as I seriously need to sleep. Nothing much to blog about these days. Life is getting so boring. I need some excitement!

Anyway, I think I change my mind about the aim for the week-.- HAHAHA. I don't know if I should. We shall see.

Goodbye.

I feel your whisper across the sea

School. Dance. Home.

School again tomorrow. Let's hope this week passes quickly.

Aim for the week: Attend school without fail. (Motivate me please.)



Lucky 13

Wth. Back to school tomorrow..

Weekends are over in a blink of an eye.

Weird feelings

All of a sudden,

I miss Belley alot. LOL, I'm serious.

Sweet dreams

I had a very sweet dream last night. I woke up and realised.. It was just a dream. Sweet dreams don't come true. Do they? I hope they do.

Anyway, today was suppose to go Sentosa. But didn't because nobody was free/ wanted to go. I shouldn't yak about it anymore. Whatever. Went to ah ma hse for awhile and came home.

Goodbye.
Most boring Sunday ever.

Do you know that all these while I've been waiting?
Till now..

Never got hold of anything

Went for NDP practice this morning. Today's was better than last week's. Much better I suppose. Maybe, it isn't that bad after all. Reached home bout 5plus. Tired to the max.

Nothing much.

I'm glad that we're fine. (I suppose)
Thanks alot. I appreciate it.
We're gona celebrate this year's Christmas together right? :B

Goodbye.

I wouldn't let it go for nothing

I've learnt alot these few days. Not in class of course. But some other things. I just realised I'm slowly losing my friends. Yea, right. I'm trying not to get emotional over it. Because I know I still have a few who stood by me all these while. I'm thankful, you know who you are. (I suppose) Maybe I will be able to get over all these pretty soon. (I hope)

But it's kinda difficult to not get emotional at some times. I just wanna make things right. I'm not good at expressing myself. But I've lost somebody whom I can talk to. Somebody whom I used to share my problems with. All my fault, I brought this upon myself.

Anyway, I missed school today. I was too tired. I get easily tired these days. Went for chinese and dance. Had mac with Amanda and went home.

Sunday.. Is it still on? I've got a feeling no. Cause seems like I'm the only one getting excited over it -.- Tomorrow is a long day. By just thinking of it, I'm already tired. Actually, everyday is a long and tiring day for me.

At the end of the day,

We're doing all these for nothing..

And what's even worst..

We don't even remember why we're fighting.

Can we make up now?

Cause I can't sleep through the pain.

PS/: Take a look at my private blog. (You're the only one with access)

Goodbye.

Floating clouds

Forced myself to wake up for school today. Had morning run, I didn't brought my attire. I forgot all about it. Walked instead of run. Was perspiring when I'm back to class. Kept wanting to doze off during maths. After much perserverence, I kept myself awake :B So the rest of the lessons were boring. Went for FNN after school. Reached home about 5.40pm.

Now I'm already gona doze off while blogging-.- I'm really too tired to do anything. Got to hit the sheets early tonight. I'm looking forward to Sunday alot! I hope I don't have to go through friday and saturday. It's gona be very very very tiring T-T SIGH! Whatever lur. For the sake of Sunday, I must perservere! I sound motivated (?) Haha. I'm not.

I'm one step beyond.
I just got to carry on.

Goodbye.
School tomorrow again.

Break a bottle

Hectic schedules all the way till 3rd week of holiday. I can't imagine how tired I would be by then. Hahaha. Maybe already in the midst of becoming a zombie-.- Holidays.. What a nice word. But in fact it's gona be hell instead of holidays.

Anyway, got back results. Failed all except Chinese. Not sure about English. "Best" result I've ever gotten.


I hate school alot alot alot.

Goodnight! :B

I can feel you rushing through my veins

Back to school tomorrow. It's even worst when it's Wednesday. Plus there is Chinese asp. WTF. I want my holidays now. Not including the first two weeks. It's really killing me man. Waking up early for school and stuffs. What's the point. I'm not a cut- out material for studies. I'm starting to hate everything I'm doing. I hate going to school most.


Actually, I have no interest in studies at all.

Goodnight.

Life is just like playing chess

I hate going to school alot!

!#$%F^*&@

Don't assume things you don't know.

If I wanted to seek attention, I would have stopped going to school.

I don't have to wait till examinations to show it.

Fuck off, it doesn't concern you at all.

Goodnight.

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL.

School tomorrow.. I can't wait for weekends.

Talking just turns into screaming

Hi! Went for NDP's rehearsal yesterday with Sherman. I wanna say Lololololololololololololol. Some of the people there were ... weird. A few only. Hhahaha. And we had a great time laughing our ass off-.-

Went home after the rehearsal ends. Went out to meet Sherman and Amanda at Cwp. Had dinner and met Brandon. Went to watch "The Uninvited" around 9.15pm. As usual, it would scare the hell out of me-.- But was still alright la. I manage to sleep around 1am. Slept till today, 1pm. Hahaha. COOL. I've never had sucha nice sleep for so long.

School tomorrow = turn off.

May update again later.

Love is the most dangerous thing

I'm still unable to let go of alot of things. I'm really sorry.

I can't sleep again. Most prolly gona have breakfast in the morning with my sis. Doubt I'll be sleeping. I'm just not tired. Not a teeny weeny. Why can't I go to sleep? So many problems. One after another. I wanna switch back my sleeping time! I've got nothing to do at all right now. No interesting tv shows for me to watch. And my sister is sleeping soundly beside me-.- Wonder how long has it been ever since I've slept soundly.

Okay, I'm really bored. I'm off to Restaurant City-ing and Bejeweled-ing. Hope time pass quickly! Nobody is gona read this at this time anyway. Hahaha.

Goodbye.

\Edited.

I'm still awake!-.- Time check, 6.07am. Bloody hell. I just can't sleep.

Day five hundred and forty six

Hi! No school today, stayed at home for whole day. Had nothing to do at all. Hence, it was a very boring day. So... I've got nothing to update. But at least I've updated!

Today is a special day because its 13th.
I love every 13th of the month.

Today is pek cek day. Why pek cek? Because of ___ lah. All because of her ___. HAHAHA.
Stupid-.-

Tainted Smile

Hello. I shall update more on yesterday. Went to ton with Sherman at mac again to study for Maths Paper 2. Today's paper was still alright la. But doubt I'll pass. Hahaha.

So! While we were studying, we decided to go to the toilet at Sp. Next to the Kfc one. So we packed up and went there. Because I don't dare to go there alone lah-.- Like... HELLO?! Who would go to the toilet by herself in 2am in the morning-.- Like so scary. So we walked there. Sherman was looking at some guy seated not far away from 7-eleven. We were outside the entrance of the toilet. And we hear some sort of laughter/crying coming from the toilet. I swear, it scare the mother fucking hell out of me-.- Then we was like.."ehh, what's that? Omg." We decided to wait outside to see if anyone come out. But few minutes later, we can hear some girls talking. But only for a short moment. And then it was silence.. Nobody came out after a good 10mins.

Then there were 3 guys walking towards the toilet. And we decide to go in with them. Sherman was standing right outside the Ladies. I went in to check it out. NOBODY INSIDE! So where did all the laughter/cries/talk come about?-.- He keep ask me to use the toilet la. I was scared of course. Then I decided to use la. Got two cubicles that is locked. But one is under construction. Another is locked. So i entered 2 cubicles away from it. I can see no legs from below. At that point of time I already freaked out-.- I went in the cubicle, I locked the door. Hang my bag on the hook. And all of a sudden, I decide not to use the toilet anymore. I took my bag, quickly open the door, wash my hands and walked out. Okay, SO CAN ANYONE EXPLAIN TO ME WHAT WE HEARD!?!?!? I've been very paranoid ever since. Somebody help me!! T-T

So.. In the end, we went to the toilet at Broadway. Which was much cleaner in a sense of "cleaner" and it was brighter. Hahaha. And we kept thinking and trying to figure out what we heard. Conclusion is, ghost la!-.- It can't be a human. Because nobody walked out from the toilet when we waited. Okay, I making myself paranoid again. I shall stop. I swear not to use Sp's toilet after 8pm!! TMD. Scare the shit out of me-.-

That's all. I'm pretty tired to blog actually. And if I continue, it'll be too wordy.
Goodbye!

Sleepless nights

Craving for a drink now.

Buzzzzzzzzzzz. I can't sleep these few days. So many things weighing on my mind. How I wish I can just dump them off to the sea. Have been sleeping around 4plus am these few days. How am I going to survive? Oh man! I need some sleep man. Heavy dark circles are forming. But I just can't put myself to sleep. I think I seriously need pills man.

Twisted Truth

Cause most of the time I don't mean a thing to you. I'm losing grip of what's happening. My mind is gone. I’m spinning round. And deep inside, my tears are drowned. This time is different. I felt just like a victim. No matter what, you'll never see me cry.

Ever again.

I'm still bloody sick. Vomitted last night till almost 2am. Felt terrible. No one was there for me. Fell asleep on the floor next to the bed last night-.- Woke up around 3am, went to bed and sleep. Today was a boring day. Tommorow will be more boring, i suppose. And I want a polariod badly right now!

We're close to the end

I dread coming to this empty home. I'm all alone. I wanna leave this place. Right now.

Anyway, Dajie is pregnant. I'm gona become aunt already. Hohoho! Great news man.

Goodnight.

Just take me by the hand

Hi! Didn't update for two days. 07/05/09 is my dad's and Pat's birthday. Happy birthday! (: Went to ton that night with Sherman at Sp's mac. Studied for F&N and Maths paper 1. While he did his art and studied maths paper 1. Studied non stop. And was lethargic in the morning. Went home to bathe and went to school for exams.

Yesterday night, went to ton again at mac. With the mindset of studying chemistry. But we failed-.- Cause Chemistry is too chim. We know nothing about it and we have got no idea where to start or what to do. So Sherman was talking about a kitten he saw when he leave house. He say until like.. very cute. So we decided to search for it in his estate. When we reach there, within minutes, we spotted it! It was very very very cute and small. We played with her and fed her with milk. She was so tiny and cute lah!! We wanted to bring it home badly but it was within our means.

So when we decided to leave, the kitten followed us all the way to sp-.- She was some sort of whining. So poor thing right. But we've got no choice but to leave it there. So the kitten sat at blk 357 there. Sherman and I went to mac. When we went home around 6.40am. Sherman brought the kitten back the the estate. And today after exams, we went to search for her and it can't be found. I'm missing it badly!! ): Hope she has food to eat. I hope some kind souls brought her home or something.

Sorry. I've failed as a sister, I've failed as a daughter. Slowly everyone leaves this place. Now I'm all alone. Firstly, dajie married. So she wasn't living here anymore. Now left 3 of us. One doesn't wanna come home. Another doesn't wanna give in. Is face so important? Forgive and forget (?) Suck cock man-.- Which bloody idiot created this phrase. How come it doesn't happen in reality? Now i'm standing all alone. I'm telling myself.. I could get used to this. I can make it even on my own.

Goodbye. I'm off to have some sleep. Maybe ton again tonight (?) We shall see..

Anyway, the kitten's name is "Armpit" -.- Cool name huh. I agree man.

Only thing that made me happy today

So I countdown with Sherman. Wished him Happy Birthday on time and sing birthday song okay. See.. I so good.

Hahaha. (click on pic for larger view.) We were suppose to study ss. But turn out to be chatting on the ss notes-.-

So.. today after exam went to get cakes, candles, plates, cream, flour, fork. And celebrated his birthday. At least this made me happy today (?) -.- Today was a terrible day though.

Hope you enjoy your birthday today! :].

I love this bunch of friends.

You don't have to read this

You can now bloody sell this house. I don't give a fuck damn about it. Sell this house and throw me in a rubbish dump. I don't care. I'll be more than happy. It's all my fucking fault. I'm the one who caused all these. Right from the start, you shouldn't have given birth to me. Even if you did, you should have chuck me in a rubbish bin or take a knife and stab me to death. I cry on the way to school. I cried like fuck. Everyone is looking. Nobody knows whats happening. They just keep staring. Fuck them upside down. I cried all the way to school. I cried during exams. My mind went totally blank. I'm sure I'm gona flunk my papers. Because I leave a 25mark question out. Good one. Fuck all these. It's all my fucking fault. I hate this life. I hate this world. What I hate most is this family. I dread coming home. I dread see-ing anyone at home. When you shout it in my face. That's it. It's the end. Since you've both decided to leave. I'm left all alone in this bloody house. I'm gona leave too. Just you wait. I've suffered enough. I'm sick of it. And I'm determined to fail my MYE. I don't give a fuck shit about it. I don't give a fucking ass about N level anymore. N level? SUCK COCK LAH. I hope I can just get swine flu and quaratine from everyone else. Oh ya. All is my fault. It's my fault to start with. I never say anyone of you blame me. But I just think it's my fault. Is that fair enough? I think its very fair. Every now and then I'm crying like a fucking baby who loses its mama. Thats enough. I've had it. All i know is cry. I can't do anything to salvage it. One day, I may just die in bed. Cool. I like this. Something is wrong, something is so wrong. I;m trying with all my might to laugh, to be happy, to laugh like a crazy woman. And I did it. People who hate me must be over the moon to see me sufering right now. Congragulations man. And you know what? I don't give a fucking shit about you. FUCK YOU UPSIDE DOWN.

A Happy Happy 16 Birthday, Sherman!

Hi! Happy Birthday! You can watch NC16 shows already. And I still can't! So i suppose you'r gona catch horror movies that are rated NC16 without me. Lol. Anyway, let us travel back time.. And see the silly things we did together.

Jiawei, Sherman, Regina ("san bao")

And the three of us.. love the same kind of thing. Well... WE LOVE.... :]. Not forgetting tech guy. We love lollipops and pushpops. Or maybe it is only Jiawei. HAHAHA. The three of us together = laugh like crazy. Hahaha. And you're the first to turn 16, da bao! -.-

And I know you're very happy about it. Because you can watch NC16 HORROR SHOWS!!

Which is so unfair! ):

More photos!

(Amanda, Sherman, Regina)

We always go to school together. And it's time for you to stop being late! (: I'm sure Amanda will agree! XD

Thanks for being such a nice friend! Always bringing us laughter. And we shall watch more and more horor movies. So start saving lotsa money! Have a great day and goodluck for your exams! :].

Last but not least,

HAPPY 16TH BIRTHDAY!

In this photo, you look like the tech guy whom always peep at us. Hahaha.

Anyway, i even throw face to sing a birthday song for you alone-.- Must appreciate hor. Wapiang. Ruin image leh.

Goodnight!