This is the last post of 2011. Thought I'll blogged about something happy but oh well, shit happens all the time.

Last year, I had no resolutions. I only wanted 2011 to be better. Guess what? It sucked. It's the same ending again. It's all about losing people around me. Which I can totally foresee it to happen again at the end of 2012.

So resolution for 2012 is to be materialistic! Just to earn money and more money! I would rather cry in an Audi than to cry on a bicycle. True isn't it? Embracing the New year with a broken heart and countless sinking ships.

It's hurting me a lot, a fucking hell lot.

Happy new year in advanced to my readers! x

Mastering the art of acting nonchalant. However, the more I wanna act nonchalant, the more I give myself away that it is actually bothering me so much. Crying is so weak even when they say it's just a sign that you've been holding on for too long. To me, it's just plain weakness. I hate tears streaming down my face and I can do nuts about it.

It's like no one is here for you even when they say that they are. But little did they know, they are the cause of your tears. I know things aren't gonna work out so easily this time round.

Been in this kind of situation twice, fucking twice. Am I that stupid to repeat the same mistake that I do not know what it is, twice? Or are we just meant to sink? It's like I'm born to lose my entire life. Even the simplest things in life like losing a pair of keys, losing my wallet to losing people that I love most, losing grip of everything that I held tightly to.

I hate being just a plain jane to everyone. Even when I walk away, nobody would even noticed that I'm not there. Pathetic isn't it?

Oh, did I mention that I failed my BTT by just one mark? Yeah, this sums up my day. Have a good weekend ahead to whoever that is reading!

“ It's like you're screaming and no one can hear. You almost feel ashamed that someone can be that important that without them you feel like nothing. No one will ever understand how much it hurts. You feel hopeless, like nothing can save you, and when it's over and it's gone, you almost wish you could have all the bad stuff back. So you could have the good.”

It's better to burn out than to fade away.

@ civics' Starbucks right now. Just chilling while Tng is studying.

So many memories went through my mind. I know it's pointless to say all these. You must have found it so absurd. I'm sitting at the exact same spot, exact same seat, coincidentally. I kinda figured out that's what best friends do. Waiting for another to finish their work even when it means staring right into space. That's what I'm doing now. Just like how you did about more than a year ago. Just that it's a different companion this time round and we've switched roles. Kinda miss those times quite terribly. Those were the best days of my life.

#nowplaying— 'The one that got away'
“ All these money can't buy me a time machine. Can't replace you with a million rings. I shouldn't have told you what you meant to me. Cause now I pay the price.”



Have a good week ahead everyone!

You know the feeling when you sense yourself changing? The period when every little thing makes you mad. Where every word that came out from someone sounds so sarcastic to you, whether they mean it or not. How well you used to take those jokes or casual remarks and now all that you sensed is people picking on you. The feeling when you know you're changing but have no control over it at all. Nobody needs you and you're probably just a nuisance.

This is what I'm going through right now.

I know they've not changed a single bit but instead, I did. It just happens that everything is so offensive to me and I take it too seriously. No, I don't wanna lose another best friend but I can't stop myself.