Keeping faith

& i'm so pissed off once again. This kinda things keep on happen. Yesterday night was a crazy man who came looking for you. you were out, with some friends i guess. i was left to clear the mess for you. Today another crazy man came. looking for you. you were home. but you didn't want to open the door. its fucking disturbing and irritating do you know that?

i'm really tired of all these. sometimes i just wish you would understand me better. at least, think before you do anything. i feel so helpless. maybe i'm the one who cant adapt to this. but tell me, who will? if you really wanna have a new man. Just choose one instead of having so many gazillions of them. i dont wish to quarrel with you eveytime because of them and spoil my mood for the whole day.

you think i enjoy? no! i really dont know what you're thinking. or are my thinkings too immature for you? i dont enjoy all these stuffs, not at all. i know, maybe you're stuck too. i've tried to understand. but the problem is, you never never try to change. & i realise i've not have a nice talked with you for months. like.. the longest "talks" were when we quarrel. & everytime aft the quarrels, i burst out crying hard in my room. i just hope you'll understand how i feel. its tiring, all these things we've been through. i know its difficult for you to get through, having to worry abt so many things. but i'm no better. at least for now, i just wish to have a nice talk with you. but you never never listen to me.

you dont have time for me. you only have your precious time for all those ppl outside. everyday at home, i've got no one to talk to. my normal routine was once i reached home, i'll stay in the room, use laptop and slp. thats all. you were never there. you never never knew how i was feeling. this house was more like the chinnnaaaas ppl house rather than my house. i really dont like quarreling with you. you just dont understand. ya, anyway you're not gona see these. so whats the point of typing everything here? well, i just wanna let out whats inside me. cos nobody listens to me when i talk. no matter whom i talk to.

Regina; super lethargic. having sleepless nights because of so many things..