Keeping faith

Today is definitely not better

Well, ystd Sherman said, " Tomorrow will be better." Sad to say, it didn't came true. Hahaha-.- Perhaps tomorrow.

Where were you all these 3 days? Do you even know what I've been doing? You know I'm sick? You know nuts about it. What am I to you actually. I'm really curious to find out. The distance between us, it's getting further and further. Maybe an ocean wide? LOL.
I've been hesitating about the life I'm living, the house, the people I'm living with. I'm struggling through everyday. It's getting tiring as days goes by. I couldn't tell anyone that I'm actually struggling through. Cause they'll never understand. Its always the same old words that come out of their mouth. And I'm tired of hearing it.

You know, It's fine to ask me to do things. I'm 100% okay with it. But first, let me do finish what I'm doing first. I bet you don't like it if you're treated this way too. I swallowed hard, so my tears wouldn't fall. I know it's so stupid to cry over such small stuffs. That's why I'm controlling. I tell myself again and again.. " It's okay, I'm gona get use to it." Yeah, I know sooner or later I'll get used to it. Even if I can't, I still have to act like I'm used to it. I don't have a choice. All I can do is watch everything fall out of place. Just like watching how this family fall apart 4years ago. I still remember the night, when you told us what's going to happen all these. I remembered it! & I'll never forget it.

I've never blame any of you for what is happening. But instead, I blame myself. For being unable to save it. It's okay, I'm used to it. After this post, I'm gona be alright. I just need to let it all out before i burst. That's all. Tomorrow will be better. I hope..