Keeping faith

No, I'm not fine

Advice: Don't read if you don't have any patience.

First of all, I missed school today. But I went for dance. After dance went to Minimart. Recieved a call and several messages which made me feel very upset. Worst thing is when we board the bus. 2 Naval base Sec boys were talking so loudly as though they are both seated far away. But in fact they are just beside each other. It's either the one that's listening is deaf or the one speaking is deaf. Cause he can't hear how loud he is. Thus, this made me feel more upset and pek chek.

I feel so reluctant to go home. When I was walking home, I was deep in my thoughts. I fear something would happen. I was feeling uneasy in my stomach or rather.. my heart was feeling uneasy.

Have you ever thought of how I would feel whenever you say you wanna die? You know how worried I am? No you don't. You're so selfish. You ask me not to worry about you. Tell me, how can I not be worried? You say all you can say is sorry. Sorry.. you think that helps? No, it doesn't. If you don't want me to get worried and stuffs, you shouldn't have told me. You shouldn't even give birth to me. You're not the only one thats tired. I am too. You tell me I will still have my father even without you. No, you don't understand. What I want is both of you. Not one of you but both. Not any substitution.

All these suck too much.
I rather be in hell.

I'm tired. Why don't you help me end my sufferings?
Take a knife and stab me right in my heart.
Don't worry, I wouldn't blame you.
Mercy Killing.