Canon Powershot G11
Actually I planned to blog during evening about what I've been doing these days. But I really need to vent out my frustrations badly. You can chose to skip this.
I'm like.. stuck at this cross junction don't know which way to go. I wished I had someone who can direct me. I think it's weird coz people at my age cry about their relationships and there I go crying like one asshole about my family. I know I've learnt to be be independent in somewhat ways. But you know, everytime I cry.. how I wish someone was there to hold on to me. Lend me a shoulder and let me cry all I want. Today, I ran out of the house, all alone. As I ran out, nosy neighbours peep from their door. I really wanted to shout at them so much. But I was in too desperate state to run away. Never in my life have I cried so fucking bad. I sat at the staircase and cried. My heart ached badly. So bad that I can't breathe. I struggled to breathe as I cry. I kept cursing in my heart, blaming myself for all that had happened. I just need someone to listen to what I have to say. But I guess my existence doesn't really mean much to anyone. You had no idea how scared I was. I was losing grip of everything. I just felt like letting go. I've cried so much for this family that I lost count. I tried to wipe my tears but new ones replaced them. Bro-in-law was really nice to come down, find me and brought me home. I kept crying till I fell asleep. I woke up, once again, tears flooded my eyes. I don't ever wanna wake up. Coz all I ever wanna do is cry. Who's there to let me hold on to? No one.
& I wonder, how long does it take this time for the everything to go back to normal. Perhaps never. It's so true that money is the roots of all evil. I can't agree more.
My eyes are swollen from crying. I just hope I don't breakdown in school. What a 'good' start of March. I can't freaking get to sleep but I'm fucking tired.
I'm like.. stuck at this cross junction don't know which way to go. I wished I had someone who can direct me. I think it's weird coz people at my age cry about their relationships and there I go crying like one asshole about my family. I know I've learnt to be be independent in somewhat ways. But you know, everytime I cry.. how I wish someone was there to hold on to me. Lend me a shoulder and let me cry all I want. Today, I ran out of the house, all alone. As I ran out, nosy neighbours peep from their door. I really wanted to shout at them so much. But I was in too desperate state to run away. Never in my life have I cried so fucking bad. I sat at the staircase and cried. My heart ached badly. So bad that I can't breathe. I struggled to breathe as I cry. I kept cursing in my heart, blaming myself for all that had happened. I just need someone to listen to what I have to say. But I guess my existence doesn't really mean much to anyone. You had no idea how scared I was. I was losing grip of everything. I just felt like letting go. I've cried so much for this family that I lost count. I tried to wipe my tears but new ones replaced them. Bro-in-law was really nice to come down, find me and brought me home. I kept crying till I fell asleep. I woke up, once again, tears flooded my eyes. I don't ever wanna wake up. Coz all I ever wanna do is cry. Who's there to let me hold on to? No one.
& I wonder, how long does it take this time for the everything to go back to normal. Perhaps never. It's so true that money is the roots of all evil. I can't agree more.
My eyes are swollen from crying. I just hope I don't breakdown in school. What a 'good' start of March. I can't freaking get to sleep but I'm fucking tired.
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