Keeping faith

" I never felt this way before, everything that I do reminds me of you."

& so this is how I decided to celebrate my birthday, all by myself. Went to a Clarke Quay in the afternoon, a place where we used to go and once had ice cream there. The weird thing is, I can't take more than a three spoonful of it. It was so different, perhaps the lack of company, perhaps things just changed. I sat by the river, perhaps the exact same spot where we sat, with my iPod blasting music that makes me feel like crying. All I did was just reminiscing and the sky turned dark without me noticing. I stared at the G-max, we once said we're so gonna take it together. The night was beautiful, although the moon was misty. I sat there for hours, just thinking. Seriously never thought I would do this and I think I will probably try to do everything we once did alone. I didn't even know this would hurt so bad. & I still never fail to check my phone for a birthday wish that never came.

Met up with my sister for dinner after I left Clarke Quay. Soon after, I headed home.. Just one hour before my birthday ended, Marcus, Esyadd & Daryl came to give me a surprise. Thank you guys for the cake, presents, songs and everything.

I not only wanna thank them, I also wanna thank people whom stood by me when I'm at the lowest point of my life. I know you guys have been trying very hard to get me back to my feet. You guys know who you are. I'm also very sorry if I appeared unappreciative. It means a lot to me, really. & for the failed surprise you guys didn't manage to give me, I'm sorry about it. But I got it all in my heart. Love you guys!

I will probably need more time to learn to let things go. It is not as easy as it seems. My mum even thought that I fell out of love. No, I didn't. It's even worst than that. I lost a friend, a good friend.